I really don't mind mondays that much, because I love what I do and after the weekend, I am excited to get back to work.
However, sometimes, this happens.
I have been working on a paper. For months now. It's a new field for me. A huge field. One, that I can't just dive in and know where I should turn. Its difficult and frustrating.
So I am constantly floating between being motivated and optimistic to finish soon - and wanting to hide under a blanket with 2lbs of Haribo, because my brain is in complete knots and just wants to sleep.
There are days when I sit at my desk and work on an idea for 10hrs. If you come home after a day like this, and you have 3 sentences written, it's not hard to feel crushed.
Not having anything to "show for", not being able to sum up the epistemological concepts you have struggled with for hours, days, or weeks in a few sentences (because they are too complex, or because you are still in process of grasping them yourself), or at least being able to give a simple answer to "What did you do all day?" can be difficult.
Don't get me wrong, I am socially awkward and often don't know how to talk to people. So this is not anything that is stopping me from having conversations or meeting new people. That is just because of my weirdness.
I just think it would be nice to come home and have something to look back on, a "product", like a knitted sweater or something. (No, I can't knit.)
Nick and I had conversation about this a few years ago and he told me to focus on minor victories.
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten. I was never really good at "seeing the empty or full glass", or "looking on the bright side" - but I can find minor victories! Since then, I have been thinking about this at the end of each day.
Today, my victory is that I found a USB cable in the copy room and with this cable, I can connect my laptop to the printer of the department - and print!
So if I can't tell you anything related to my paper, or sum up my research question in a few words, I can still tell you that I am from now on saving about 30mins worth of walking to the library and printing things there. If that discovery not a victory, I don't know what is.
What was your victory today?
Do you knit?
What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday!