As I told you, when we first got married, Nick and I planned on having a big church wedding in Germany a few years later, you know, the one in less than 6 weeks.
Over the past months and years, I thought, I would then get a chance to wear a big wedding dress. The one I wore 4.5 years ago is really lovely. Its shorter and ivory colored with beads and lace and just overall pretty.
So I started thinking that I should save us the money and wear it for the big day. I made a decision. I wanted to just give up on the big dress to save us the money. When I told Nick, he wasn't pleased. I remember that just three months ago, we were sitting and having cocktails when told me he would just pick a bridal store and buy a gift card. I wanted none of that. I didn't want my big dress anymore.
|I feel so pretty when saving us money!|
Until 2 weeks ago.
I don't know what happened, but all of the sudden, the thought of never having the feeling of walking down the isle in long wedding dress I had dreamed of for years made me really sad.
I remembered how I was still in my mom's kids choir and we would meet every Friday, in a building right by the very church that Nick and I are getting married in next month. Fridays were, and still are, popular days for weddings and during the summer months, us kids would wait for the bride to come out of the church, just to see her dress. On other days, my mom and I would drive by the church and wait in the car if we knew there was a wedding. It was always the greatest moment to see the bride.
I also remembered how often I would sneak into my parents' bedroom to secretly wear my mom's wedding dress when she was out. I was about 6 or 7 and obsessed with that dress. My grandmother made it and I can't tell you how happy it still makes me that my mom kept it all those years. In elementary school, we did a fashion show and I was the one who was presenting the "bridal collection". I was 8 years old and wore my mom's veil and her white gloves - it was one of my proudest moments as a kid.
Since then, I had dreamed of having a big, long wedding dress myself and while I truly love my shorter dress from our October wedding in New York, I just couldn't bare the thought of never being able to live that moment any longer. Especially when I will be walking out of that very church, in the town I grew up in, with Nick next to me.
I know I'm being wasteful. I know that it will be the most expensive piece of clothing and that I will only wear it for less than 24hrs. But I just can't help it.
Now, deciding that I want a dress and finding one are two different stories if there are only 6 weeks to go until the big day.
In case you didn't know, wedding dresses can take 6-8 months to be ordered. (I definitely didn't know.) I spent more hours looking at wedding dresses online than I ever thought was possible or healthy. I looked for so long that all of them started to look the same, just one white ball of fabric.
It's our second wedding, so I didn't want it to be too big, too poofy, too long, or too lacey, no big bows, something smaller, but not too small, simple, but not too simple... that's exactly what I told the sales lady at the store. She truly appreciated it.
|This seems appropriate! Maybe less flowers though.|
Last week, I tried about 20 dresses. I hated every single one (too big, too poofy, too long...). I felt like a snowman in most of them, looked like a ball of mozzarella in others. It wasn't pretty. The poor sales lady kept saying "lets put a flower around it and see what you think then" (I'm dead serious. She tried that one flower on every dress. Almost hilarious.)
|"Lets add a flower to see if it works then."|
Right before I left, she told me that they had another dress and went to get it. I hated it on the hanger. But since she was so nice and helpful (read: patient), I said I would try it. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. The only problem: it was about 3 times as much as I wanted to spend.
I had a sleepless weekend and aside from browsing through store catalogues, I also looked at about 362934732852720984 used wedding dresses online. I swear, I know every single entry by now. I know the brands, I know the shapes, I recognize the sellers. The thought was: maybe I can find a really nice used one. Or one that was bought and never worn!?
My friend came with me this morning to look at a dress I thought might be a good fit. It wasn't for me. It wasn't my dress. It was someone else's.
So we went back to the store and I picked one there. That's all I can say, because Nick reads my blog :o)
I absolutely love it and I cannot wait to wear it (and plaster this blog with pictures). At the store, I had to insist sitting and finishing my champagne in the dress. (Yes they gave me booze. Maybe to help decide.)
I am also thinking about putting it on every year at our May-wedding-anniversary. Even if it doesn't fit anymore. I swear. It is THAT pretty. I could also give tea parties and wear it for that occasion. Maybe I will invite everyone who says they are sad they only got to wear their dress once. It could be a thing. Lets all wear our wedding dresses! (Of course, we would be forced to only eat really creamy-cream cakes, you know, no "healthy" fruit, because of possible stains...)
Just let me know. I'll keep a slice for you.
|Did anyone say "cake"?|